Saturday, October 22, 2022



In a statement issued by Buckingham Palace today it was announced that since the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are no longer allowed to use the title of HRH they will be allowed to use the title of the Duke and Duchess of Netflix with the subordinate title of First Baron and Baroness of Spotify. The College of Arms has been tasked with granting a new coat of arms and the recording of pedigrees which in Meghan's case may prove illusive.
Palace insiders have revealed that Beyonce was a candidate to become one of Meghan's ladies-in-waiting but in the exam which accompanied her application she was thoroughly stumped by the question, "Which country is the King of England King of?" Oprah Winfrey said she might substitute for Beyonce but is reluctant to relinquish her role as Ass-Kisser-in-Chief specially created for her by Prince Harry and Meghan when she guaranteed only softball questions during an interview conducted in 2021.
The TOADY TIMES of Montecito has intimated that Ellen DeGeneres was told by Barack and Michelle Obama that Meghan has been further downgraded by the monarchy. She is no longer to be referred to as a royal-pain-in-the-ass but simply as a common-pain-in-the-ass, something she shares with the Obamas and Ellen herself. 

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