Dolphins Lives Matter

A spokesman for the dolphins at Sea-World has said that the dolphins there are going on strike due to them being culturally appropriated by the Miami Dolphins. “We haven’t received one red cent never mind a week old herring in recompense or restitution” said one of the dolphins as he swam off in pursuit of reparations.

Dolphins Lives Matter has issued an injunction against the Miami Dolphins as well as threats to flood their stadium.

The sharks at Sea-World are considering coming out in sympathy with the dolphins because of similar complaints about the Jacksonville Sharks and lobsters everywhere may file a lawsuit against the Red Lobster chain of restaurants. Meanwhile the heirs of Robert Louis Stevenson are ending their contractual relationship with the food chain, Long John Silver's because they just can't face another plate of fish and chips.

The killer whales, however, don’t have a dog in this hunt or a seal in the sea, for that matter, with regard to cultural appropriation by NFL teams. Their spokesman said they think the dolphins and sharks have gone off the deep end on this one. “It all sounds a bit fishy to me”, said Shamu.

“I used to adjudicate most of these matters”, said Neptune as he dismounted his sea horse, “ before I accidentally impaled myself on my three pronged spear in a very delicate region. Now Captain Nemo does most of the legal work when his mermaids aren’t swimming around trying to find Moby Dick with whom to amuse themselves,” he remarked dolefully.